It’s funny how, in an instant, your entire world can change. In a single moment, everything around you… shifts. And your entire life, all of your memories, everything you have experienced or will experience is split, into… Before, and after. And that doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, because technically everything you go through leads to a before and after, right? But this is different. This is a moment. A moment you will always remember. A moment when, just for a second, time seemed to freeze, and reality crashed on you as, for the first time, it seemed to click in your mind, that nothing will ever be the same. I’ve had my fair share of these moments. Many of them, it was just a normal day.. but then I would hear my parents calling me down, into the living room. I’d think everything was okay and they just wanted to ask me something. But then I’d see the look on their faces, and I’d realize, it wasn’t okay. And it wouldn’t be again for a long time. Sometimes I understood what they would tell me, other times I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. How could this happen? One minute ago, one beautiful minute, the world was spinning as it should, the clocks were ticking, everything was moving properly. And then it stopped. And there was only after…

Before and after means something entirely different to me now.

Now, before is full of beautiful memories that should be kept and cherished. And after? After is even more beautiful. Because it’s painted with darkness, and light. It’s painted with pain, and joy. And the light, the joy, is all the sweeter for it. It’s not… EASY. Living in an after. Sometimes it’s exhausting, and it hurts, but the strange thing is? When it hurts, your life feels fuller. When it’s dark, it’s easier to see every spot of beautiful light around you. Not always… sometimes you have to really look for the light. But having to search for the good? That teaches you to love it. I’ve never felt such deep and overwhelming love for someone as when I felt like I was alone. And I’ve never felt so deeply and overwhelmingly loved as when I felt broken. Because when I fell down, that’s when I looked around for the people who cared. And that’s when I learned to care.

After is not easy. It’s heavy, and it’s hard to carry. But you don’t carry it alone. Ever. And when you can’t see anyone next to you, helping you lift? It’s because there’s an army of angels walking behind you. All you have to do is turn around, and you’ll see just how many people love you. They’re always there. Just turn around.